Crochet funnies

I found this on Crochet Me Crazy, of the crochet blogs I enjoy reading, and adapted it a bit.

You know you’ve been crocheting too long when ...

You need to a separate room just to house your yarn, patterns, etc.

LYS, WIP, UFO, BLO, and other acronyms all make perfect sense to you.

You have lost the family cat—more than once—among the boxes, bags, and stacks of yarn in your yarn room.

Hobby Lobby, JoAnn’s, Herrshner’s, and Yarn.com send you personalized birthday and Christmas cards as a favorite customer ... and a friend.

You keep a crochet hook and crochet project in your car for long stoplights.

Family, friends, and even strangers send you yarn and unfinished projects without asking first.

Your family has learned not to speak aloud phone numbers, account numbers, times, dates, TV station numbers, prices, etc. while you’re counting lest you use count of your stitches.

Your cat has seen so much yarn flying around, she’s lost interest and doesn’t even chase it anymore.

Your computer’s memory is maxed due to the number of crochet patterns you’ve saved to your Crochet folder.

Your email inbox is full of more crochet-related email than personal or business email.

The IRS and state tax authorities allow you to declare your yarn, pattern, hooks, etc. as dependents on your tax returns.

You have a separate bookcase dedicated to (and overflowing with) crochet books, magazines, and printed patterns.

You have had to explain the difference between crochet and knitting more times than you can count.

You crochet in bed.

You once found a crochet hook you’d stuck in your hair earlier for safekeeping ... and wondered how long it’d been there.

You call yourself—and your sister-in-law—“hooker” ... with pride.

You count among your friends editors of crochet magazines and authors of amigurumi books.

The employees of your LYS cheer your name, à la Norm at Cheers, when you walk in the door.

Instead of counting sheep to fall sleep, you count stitches.

Your family has learned to decipher the unspoken language you use to respond to them when you’re counting stitches.

You have crochet and yarn apps on your iPhone.

You look at everything—wire, packaging twine, dental floss, weeds, tinsel, etc.—as a potential crochet medium.

You find a cool scarf, hat, sweater, bag, set of handwarmers, etc. in a store or online and immediately start mentally figuring out a crochet pattern for it.

You have a crochet playlist on your iPod. Maybe two. Okay, six.

You silently chastise people who call a crochet hook a “needle.”

You crochet during staff meetings, movies, dental appointments, sporting events, ....

You nearly broke up with your significant other when he slipped and said you “knit.”

You have a WIP in each room of the house.

You win the lottery and spend the whole payout on Lion Brand Yarns’ stock, a sheep farm, and spinning lessons.

You read the title of this list and thought “Too long? There’s no such thing!”